There's a difference between "May I have that." and "May I have that, Please." It may seem inconsequential, simply an extra half breath. They can both be delivered in a positive and polite way. But, when you are on the receiving end, it changes all intonations of meaning. How difficult is it to add a please to the beginning or end of any request? More over, how does it reflect on you when you don't.
We are in the midst of a service life. We need, we grow, we want, we get. We are constantly going after something. This puts us, repeatedly, in a position of relying of others to both give us goods and services. This interaction marks how we see the world and how we see other people. The nature of our humanity can be seen in the way we conduct ourselves when we shop.
Two Examples:
Often times when checking out at the grocery store the clerk always says "hi, how are you today?" I always respond and then I ask them how they are. More often than not, no one has asked them this simple return questions. I've even had them thank me for asking, for which I assumed no one or very few, had the manners to return the question. I don't see how. I can't and won't understand how we become so self involved, or worse, so self righteous, we can't take the time to encourage another person. I hope it's not a sense of "being better than" them, you, us, it all. Cause if that's it, allow me to let you in on some not so secret info, you're not that special. Despite what your mother, husband, wife, nurse, grandmother tells you, no one is so good or elevated they have the right to be mean or dismiss another person. Ever.
Secondly, and most recent. Friday afternoon my buddy Drew and I went to a local Running/Outdoor store to pick up our race packets for the Autumn Breeze 10K the following morning. It was about 2:00pm when we got there. They had been open and handing out packets to runners since 10:00am, yeah, that's 4 hours. After standing in a brief line, I walked to the counter and requested packets for both my wife and myself, adding an innocuous please at the end of the request. He repeated our names, and then looked at me, preparing the packets. As he handed them to me, he informed me, I was the first person all day to say please. I mean, come on, 4 hours, over a 1000 people in that race and no one had said anything to him. Now that is just wrong, but mostly it's just sad. The thing that bothers me the most is the type of people who shop there are very diverse and both very affluent and then not so affluent. All walks of life. I apologized to him that people had been remissed to say one little word, which in his case, made a big difference.
How do I know it made a big difference? Cause at the race the next morning, after we had finished, Drew and I were again chatting, enjoying a post race beer (one of my favorite parts of running 6.2 miles) when he came up to us. He called us by name, first name, and asked us how and what we thought of the race. He remembered us, by name, from 3 minutes of interaction. It blew me away and even more so made me resolute to use please and basic manners in everywhere I go, no matter what kind of day I'm having.
It's just a breath, one of thousands you take in a day. But, a simple "please" can mean the difference. I know it's a bit Sunday School to talk about. But, apparently the lesson was never learned, so a little remedial review can't hurt. So, PLEASE, go forth and be nice to your fellow man and woman and child, if not for them, then for you.
