I am having one those weeks where my mind causes struggle, second guessing, and internal turmoil. Don't get me wrong, everything is fine, work is good, relationships are good. But, I feel as if God is waging a spiritual war in my mind. I am fighting the on going battle of where I am vs. where I need to/should be. I see an end result, I see paths to take to get there, but it is the in between parts that are taking me for a loop. When one portion of my faith wanes, BAM! God answers with a blessing or something that throws me for a loop, in a good way. I ask God what he wants, but then don't listen to the answer. Fear of the answer is the reason I do this. I know this is not my life I am living, but God's life for me, but at some point I have to fully relinquish my hold on what I think it should be.
I find myself negatively reacting to situations that are either completely out of my control or are actually awesome "God Times." I, thankfully, have been able to recognize when this is happening and try to fix it, but I just don't know why it is happening. I am bless to have outlets for this but, some things I must tackle with God. I metal wrestle with the goods and evils.
Let Go, Let God...my writing has too much Me, I, My...less selfishness, more growth and compromise. I know where I need to be, it's getting there that is the hard part. But, alas, I will make it through.
